realsocialskills:

How much respect do you owe someone you’re being forced into a relationship with, who you don’t trust, but who hasn’t hurt you yet? (in this case, a therapist)
realsocialskills said:
 
First and foremost: I’m not sure that it’s actually true that they haven’t hurt you yet. They’re agreeing to be your therapist against your will. That’s already something they’re doing to you, in itself. Therapy is an emotionally intimate relationship, and intimacy requires consent. 
   
Beyond that, I think in this particular situation, it might be more helpful to talk about what you don’t owe them:
 
You don’t owe them deference or even cooperation. Your mind is yours, and your life is yours, and you don’t have to take their opinions into account unless you decide that you value them.
 
You don’t owe them respect for their professional opinion. That’s something they earn, and it’s a judgment that you get to make. Their degree does not entitle them to have you regard them as an expert in your life, mind, or mental condition.
 
You don’t owe them intimacy. You don’t owe them personal information about yourself. You don’t owe them answers to their questions.
 
You don’t owe them the truth. 
 
You don’t owe them any trust, at all. Trust is earned, and something you have to give freely. They are not entitled to your trust or intimacy just because someone made you sit in a room and talk to them. 
 
You don’t owe them politeness, although for the sake of your safety, I would advise you to be as polite as you can stomach. It’s safer.
 
You don’t have to wait for them to hurt further you before you decide not to trust them. Trusting them, or not, is your call. Trust has to be earned and freely given, and you can revoke it at any time. Even in therapy that you enter into voluntarily and really want, trust in a therapeutic relationship has to be built over time. It’s never automatic or instant. It’s ok not to go in trusting. You are not wronging them in any way by being reluctant to discuss deeply intimate things with a stranger you’re coerced into spending time with.
 
This is all still true even if it turns out that they are a good therapist, or if they’ve successfully helped other people. They may be an amazing therapist for people who are consenting. They may be genuinely trying to help you. They may have helped many other people. They might be able to help you if you let them. Even if all of that is true, you still have every right to decide for yourself whether or not you want a therapeutic relationship with them. (Much as even if you’re lonely and there are all kinds of reasons that a particular person might be an amazing partner, it’s still ok to decide not to date that person.)
 
tl;dr: I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. I’m sorry you’re facing whatever led to this, too. You don’t owe this therapist trust or intimacy. If you decide you want a therapeutic relationship with them, that’s your choice to make, but it’s not something you owe them. I hope you’re ok. 

monicalewinsky1996:

Trigger warning: Breakfast

(via neutralgoodvampire)

Tags: rape tw

fuckyeahmtfs:

Businesses That Offer at Least One Transgender-Inclusive Health Care Coverage Plan
So I know the HRC is pretty damn shitty to us trans folk. But this is still the best comprehensive thing I have seen with employers that offer trans* inclusive benefits. 
I set a click through link to a high resolution.
A lot of these are worth a Google to find out what they really are. Like Darden Restaurants, that’s Olive Garden and Red Lobster. 
If you can get a full-time job at one of these places, they will (most likely) offer GRS/SRS in the insurance plan. If you take a look here, you can see what companies have what restrictions about it. Eg, age, time on hormones, ‘real life experience’, all that bs.
Hopefully this will help some of you get jobs at places that will actually do you some good.
For the rest of the Corporate Equality Index, look here.
Please reblog this at the least, even if you don’t care, your friends or fellow trans people might.

fuckyeahmtfs:

Businesses That Offer at Least One Transgender-Inclusive Health Care Coverage Plan

So I know the HRC is pretty damn shitty to us trans folk. But this is still the best comprehensive thing I have seen with employers that offer trans* inclusive benefits. 

I set a click through link to a high resolution.

A lot of these are worth a Google to find out what they really are. Like Darden Restaurants, that’s Olive Garden and Red Lobster. 

If you can get a full-time job at one of these places, they will (most likely) offer GRS/SRS in the insurance plan. If you take a look here, you can see what companies have what restrictions about it. Eg, age, time on hormones, ‘real life experience’, all that bs.

Hopefully this will help some of you get jobs at places that will actually do you some good.

For the rest of the Corporate Equality Index, look here.

Please reblog this at the least, even if you don’t care, your friends or fellow trans people might.

(via neutralgoodvampire)

bloggingfrominsidethetardis:

modern Hogwarts headcanon

muggleborn sixth years jumping from moving staircase to moving staircase shouting “PARKOUR”

(via equalseleventhirds)

beautifulmadhouse:

Yes!!! Saw this image on Huffington Post. #breastfeedingsupport #breastfeeding #awesome #carriagehousebirth #doula #nursing #lactation

beautifulmadhouse:

Yes!!! Saw this image on Huffington Post. #breastfeedingsupport #breastfeeding #awesome #carriagehousebirth #doula #nursing #lactation

verticalvest:

every few months i remember that i love ostriches 

(via apollyptica)

withquestionablewit:

words like “shit” and “fuck” and “hell” and “damn” are like kitchen knives. most of the time you’re going to be using them for some practical purpose. you stubbed your toe or got a flat tire or are shocked by something. all very practical, typical things that happen. you’re basically using the words to slice bread at this point. but sometimes you’re going to use them to try to hurt someone. phrases like “fuck you” or “go to hell” are times these words are used to be hurtful. they’re not the words’ sole purpose, but they can be used that way. to continue the metaphor, they’re like verbally stabbing someone with a kitchen knife

and then there are words like “f****t” and “ps***o.” slurs in general, really, which are the verbal equivalent of guns. they were designed specifically to hurt people. their primary reason for existing is to hurt people. using them against someone is the verbal equivalent of shooting at them, and saying them when, say, you slip on a patch of ice or get really angry is the verbal equivalent of shooting a gun straight up into the air. you have no idea who’s around you and who might be struck by that verbal bullet

and that’s the difference between swearing and slurs. swearing has a practical purpose while slurs are always dangerous

(via neutralgoodvampire)

(Source: 420kbs, via neutralgoodvampire)

Tags: pretty

gaywrites:

A new study shows that when applying for jobs, you’re less likely to get called if you show a history of LGBT activism or activities on your resume.

The study was conducted by the Equal Rights Center and Freedom to Work. They submitted fake resumes for 100 different jobs at eight companies that are federal contractors (meaning they are not allowed to discriminate against LGBT employees, per a recent decision by the Obama administration). One resume showed the applicant had worked with LGBT organizations, and one didn’t. 

The applicant whose resume showed ties to LGBT work got fewer responses, even though that applicant was better qualified for the job. Overall, LGBT applicants were 23% less likely to get an interview than presumably heterosexual applicants.

The study points up the need for a presidential executive order, such as the one President Obama has announced he will sign, prohibiting companies doing business with the federal government from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender  identity, said Freedom to Work president Tico Almeida. The companies in the study included ExxonMobil, which has for years refused to adopt an LGBT-inclusive antidiscrimination policy, and Almeida has pointed out that a presidential order would force ExxonMobil to embrace such a policy.

But federal contractors employ only about 20 percent of the U.S. workforce, so Almeida and other activists are continuing to press for the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would cover all but very small employers. The U.S. Senate has passed the current version of the legislation, but the House of Representatives has yet to act on it. Read here about Freedom to Work’s 218 Project, an effort to get a majority of House members to sign on as cosponsors.

This is part of the reason I was adamant about working in an LGBT-related field when I graduated last year. In college I studied journalism, where the traditional mindset is to be completely objective and reveal as little about your personal life in your work as possible. (It’s changing with new media, but that’s the old model.) I did pretty much exclusively LGBT work in college, from internships to freelancing to extracurriculars. Now, I work at an LGBT organization partially because it’s where my heart has always been, but also partially because I couldn’t bear to work anywhere that I may have had to stifle my identity.

So, all this is especially relevant for those entering the workforce or changing jobs. What say you?

(via pipeschapman)

transyoite:

hey here’s a thought: stop calling murderers “ps*chos,” because people with psychosis disorders are not your scapegoats for the crimes of evil, evil people

this goes for other evil people too

dont be callin fascists and abusers and so on “ps*chos” bc i promise almost none of them have a psychosis disorder, and psychotic people suffer enough stigmatization already

(via pissabled)